Insensitive and cringing Christmases

Halfhidden

Untouchable
Administrator
Just kicking this about a bit to see what others come up with.
I know of a person who at Christmas day sits in front of their presents and after opening them divides them into two piles in front of everyone. The piles represents what they like and what they dislike.
The dislike ones are rejected with reasons given....
What's your thoughts on this.
I suppose I should mention that they are an adult.
 

treeve

Major Contributor
If I take that statement AT FACE VALUE, I am left with someone who has issues they carry with them from a childhood that has has a considerable degree of rejection and disinterest. In fact, AT FACE VALUE it appears to be extremely infantile. Life is not how we would like, Life is what we make of it at all times. Christmas is a time when what is in the wrapping paper and tinsel is a microcosm of Life. If we cannot 'deal with' what we would prefer not to have we cannot deal with anything at all. In all the forty years of marriage there was never a time when I got it wrong, I listened all year to everything she said, so always hit the nail on the head as to style, colour, what did the job .... I suppose I could view that person you describe as being some latter day Dickensian character that is on an educational mission for future and past generations. However, life is full of grief and pain anyway, so why screw it up for yourself? I have neighbours who have not a care in the world except for themselves, they mean nothing to me, contrary to how they appear to imagine how I feel. You see, unlike the songs and modern society and their beliefs, the opposite of Love is NOT hate, it is Indifference. So if this person wants to encourage feelings of warmth and love, they are going about it the wrong way. I am not at all sure that I have interpreted your anecdote correctly.
 

rrrrrrichie

Member
It sounds like they do not deserve any presents at all! It must be difficult to watch somebody quite nonchalantly reject the present that you spent time and hard earned cash in choosing and buying. If we are not grateful for everything we receive in life, we will only get more of what we do not want. Next christmas, why not get this person the book Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life by M.J. Ryan.
 

Halfhidden

Untouchable
Administrator
One year this person (whom will remain nameless to prevent any embarrassment to them) asked for the receipt for their Christmas present because they wanted to have something else instead. The idea was to get a refund and spend the money on something that they liked instead.
Honest! And they can't see anything wrong with that....
 

treeve

Major Contributor
It sounds like they do not deserve any presents at all! It must be difficult to watch somebody quite nonchalantly reject the present that you spent time and hard earned cash in choosing and buying. If we are not grateful for everything we receive in life, we will only get more of what we do not want. Next christmas, why not get this person the book Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life by M.J. Ryan.
I was raised to live this way, by the extended family I had, it literally was (and is) and everyday event - Christmas is not a one day a year thing for me. Unfortunately often the response I get is 'I'm not religious', as if religion is only to be seen as 'The Church' or some unobtainable Nirvannah; it is in that small, but powerful embrace that admits two people to make contact and recognition. Unfortunately, there are those that could be considered 'well balanced', they have a chip on each shoulder, and will neither listen or understand that quiet little voice that encourages them through the valley of storm and forest, because they are afraid to be seen to be normal and to have true feelings. Cynicism has long teeth and no taste buds.
 

sparky

Authoritarian
Staff member
Administrator
@rrrrrrichie I personally have not sat and watched somebody do this, all though if I did I do not think that I could keep quiet about it??(in fact NO I would not!!) what ever day it was....it would probably spark off some unlikely, rude/harsh comments, I wont add them here but I think you get the idea... do you think that W H Smith will have this book? or shall I take a look in the book shop (book plus)

it does sound like a good book....

I can understand if you buy something that doesn't fit (wrong size) or its not the right colour....but the person who buys the present should keep the receipt and change accordingly if appropiate, (that's what I do) and this seems to work for me.


Perhaps next year they should not recieve a Christmas present .....that way they wont be dissapointed....or maybe they will, in not actually having anything??...
 
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